Some deep thoughts that are bouncing around in my head and better set free. I’ve stepped off into the unknown before but absolutely nothing on this scale.
~~~~~~~
The floor dissolves
beneath my feet.
My reality melts,
inevitable defeat?
I know I’m falling
but there’s no fear.
There’s an exhilaration
blooming in here.
Feeling guilty,
I shouldn’t be okay.
Or is that wrong?
She wouldn’t want me to dismay.
I flap my wings
and discover I can fly!
She trusted me enough to leave.
I’ve inherited the sky!
~~~~~~~
A dear friend of mine once said
“People stepping outside of their comfort zones and into a world…and into a life…into the vision of their future they desire. The time has come. To step out into the unknown. Where does the courage come from to do that?”
First off, I don’t feel terribly courageous. I’m not afraid though. An aching peace is probably an accurate description.
I’m at that point where Indiana Jones steps off the cliff into thin air, and you think that’s the end for him. You don’t see the invisible bridge.
I know there is something there though, because God has brought me too far and I’ve survived too much. He has some great plan in the works, He has to. I’m not ready to tumble into nothingness.
I feel like I’ve been SHOVED off that cliff if I’m being honest though. It’s literally all hanging in thin air and I can do absolutely nothing until I get the death certificates in a month and a half or so.
I have been thinking, way too much probably, and I’ve found a metaphor I like much better. A baby bird leaving its nest is a metaphor that can be applied to any new beginning. A ‘new beginning’ being the key phrase here. As much as it hurts and as alone as I feel, this is the start of a new phase of my life.
Perhaps the baby bird will not realize that it can’t survive unless it learns how to fly on its own and becomes too dependent on its parent. Sometimes the only way they will learn otherwise is to be forcibly shoved out of the nest. Then they must learn that unless they start flapping their wings, they are going to hit the ground.
Once the bird has experienced flight for the first time, I would imagine that it understands that its Creator loved it enough to want this beautiful experience for it despite the pain that lead it there.
The sky really is the limit at that point! What is that compared to being stuck on a branch wondering what is up there, and what is out there??
This poem is dedicated to Graham for inspiring me in countless ways with his journey into the unknown.
Love your poem and the story. You are a gifted writer and I am glad you have been inspired to continue doing so. And thank you for sharing. Losing your mother is never easy but it does get better. Mine has been gone almost six years and I miss her every day. Sometimes I laugh or smile at the memories, and sometimes I shed a tear. Hang in there and hold those memories tight in your heart. Love you! ❤️
Aimee~ I feel the depth of what you write and I also feel strongly that these expressions flowed from the depths of your heart and truth. There’s a raw and honest lack of manipulation of your emotions that comes through for me viscerally.
I can visualize your moments before and after. There is a part of us which remains the child of our parent during their lifetime. I remember feeling lost when my last parent passed-that tether was missing but I was ready as you said, to fly.
There is optimism and yearning for the future you will create which speaks loudly in what you wrote. How blessed we are to have the example set by Graham to reach out and grab our opportunities despite old mayrix produced fears. The growth we all see is extraordinary.