Lingering Regrets

Find Your Peace

So many text messages.

The obvious decline

and eventual halt.

You feel so close,

I want to reach through them

and touch you.

And hug you.

If I sent one now,

part of me wonders

if you might answer?

Maybe I should,

or at least journal it.

I know you are listening.

So many regrets.

I don’t know if half of them

are even mine

to shoulder.

I feel like Atlas regardless.

Would you mind if…

if I put them down for just a minute?

They are so heavy and I’m so tired.

Mom? Mom, don’t take those.

They are mine.

I’m supposed to carry them.

It’s really okay?

You really forgive me?

Thank you, thank you!

I love you so much!

I’ll see you soon.

Mwah!

~~~~~~~

My internal monologue has been everywhere since my Mom traded this life for eternity. I can hear her and feel her in my heart. I keep berating myself for all the should haves, but I’m finding my peace slowly. Caressing those beautiful memories I have tucked deep inside until I can hug her and kiss her sweet face again.

A Mom, not a biological mother or an “egg donor”, but a Mom is the most beautiful, magical person you will ever know. If you still have her, please hug her tight for me the next time you see her. Humor those silly little things she asks you to do. It won’t hurt you a bit and it will mean the world to her. Kiss her cheek or blow her a kiss. Make sure she knows how much you love her.

Please learn from me.